


Strangers in Shorts

by dapperghost



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Prostitution, Mentions of drugs, Money, Mugging, Shh, also a wannabe movie creator, daves a dj, im not even sure about the smut okay, jakes a stranger he meets, maybe smut later, they get together okay, thugs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:36:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperghost/pseuds/dapperghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave meets a very odd person after he saves the Strider from thugs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone. Yeah I know I should be working on my other stories, but I seem to have gotten writer’s block on both of them. So as a kind of break from those I decided to write this. Oh goody another story I get to work on. I’m sorry guys. But anyways I hope you all like this one. I’ll try my hardest to come up with more for Angels and Demons and Striders are So Stubborn. But for now enjoy. Please please please review. Your reviews make me happy. Anyways here’s a new story for y’all.

Your name is Dave Strider and you are really regretting moving to Los Angeles. You had lived here for about a month and already you could see why your brother had told you not to go. But, being the strong headed guy you were, you didn’t listen to him. When you were little, you used to want to be just like him. You’d copy everything he did. But as you got older, you chose your own path. 

Okay we’re getting off topic here. Anyways, you had come to L.A. hoping to make it in the film business. No, not acting. Hell no. You wanted to make your own movies. Of course, life is never easy, and you still hadn’t found anyone to sell your ideas to. You were stuck working small gigs as a DJ to survive.

It was after one of these gigs that you were walking home to your tiny apartment. Being new to the city still, you had somehow made a wrong turn and ended up in the shadier parts of town. You walked along cautiously, glancing around to see if you could spot any familiar landmarks. It seemed eerily quiet, the only sounds being your shoes hitting the sidewalk as you went along and maybe a car or two. As you went further though, you could see many not so legal activities going on. You shoved your hands into the pockets of your red hoodie and kept your head down, observing through the dark shades you always wore while still walking. What looked like a drug deal was going on near one building, and a few very sexily dressed chicks were stopping some drivers to have a conversation before getting in the cars. 

The further you walked along, the more intense a feeling grew of you being followed. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up some as you sped up. The footsteps behind you sped up as well, and you turned down an alley hoping to lose them. 

Unfortunately, it was a dead end. You turned around and were confronted by about three men, all larger than you and each with a makeshift weapon. You really wished you had your sword at the moment, to give you some advantage. Sure, you could fight without it, but you were clearly outnumbered. Not to mention these guys looked almost twice your size. 

“Hey, kid. You ain’t from around here, are ya?” the middle one said, seeming to be the leader of the three.

You chose not to reply, instead watching them. They moved closer, prompting you to back up against the wall. 

“Not gonna talk, are ya? Cat got your tongue?” the largest one said.

“Or maybe this kid’s just really, really dumb,” the third said. 

You might have thrown in a sarcastic retort there, but you felt it wiser to just keep your mouth shut. Usually you’d be rambling by now, insulting them in your ironic and sarcastic way. But talking right now might piss them off, and you definitely did not want that. 

“Either way, it doesn’t matter. We can still probably get a couple of bucks out of this loser,” the leader said. 

You swallowed, not really wanting to deal with what would happen next. You wished you could make an escape, but you were trapped. It was just then a voice spoke up behind the three thugs. 

“I suggest you leave the poor fellow alone. I don’t believe he wants to deal with hooligans like you,” the voice said. It had a kind of British tone, and the way he spoke was all kinds of weird. He didn’t sound like he was from around here, but the air of confidence in his voice indicated otherwise. 

As the thugs moved away, you could see the guy who had saved you from a mugging. Holy shit he looked like a dork. He wore glasses and a white shirt with some kind of green skull on it. He also wore shorts, and a green jacket thing. There were other factors, however, that made him less dorky. He was extremely well built for a guy like him, just the right combination of muscle and height. There was also this kind of rugged attractiveness he had, with the look of someone who had spent most of their life outdoors. And then there were the two pistols he held in his hands, which were currently aimed at your attackers. 

The stranger spoke again, his guns still aimed at the thugs. “Now, I suggest you ruffians leave before someone gets hurt.”

The three lowlifes took that opportunity to hightail it out of there. They seemed rather frightened of the newcomer. Hah. They could dish it out, but couldn’t take it. How ironic. 

The stranger then turned to you, holstering his guns. “Are you alright?” he asked. 

“Uh, yeah. Holy shit dude. You saved my ass back there. What’s your name so I can thank you?” you replied.

“Oh no need. Just being a good citizen. You looked like you were in trouble, so I came to help. The name’s Jake English by the way. And what might yours be?”

“Dave Strider.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Strider.”

“Just call me Dave, dude. Everyone else does. And same.”

“Well, Dave, I hope we can meet again sometime. But for now I must be off. Farewell.” 

He then did a double pistols thing and a winked at you before walking off. That guy was really fucking weird. But you did hope to see him again. Maybe L.A. wasn’t so bad after all. You took a deep breath before finally attempting to head home.


	2. Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I finally got around to updating this. My other stories still lack a chapter but I’m still stuck on those. Fucking writers’ block man. Anyways here you go. New chapter. Sorry if its kind of crappy.

It’s been about a week since the incident with that Jake guy. Thoughts of him had been bothering you ever since then, and they haven’t stopped. You didn’t ever peg yourself for the damsel in distress type, but now a guy in fucking shorts saves your ass and you can’t get him out of your head. He was really weird, but it was a kind of charming weirdness. Plus he was hella sexy if you were being honest with yourself. 

You haven’t really tried looking for him again, being busy getting used to the L.A. lifestyle still and all. But now here you were, roaming the slums of the city in search of some random British guy in shorts. That sounded really crazy when you thought about it. But hey whatever. 

You’re about ready to give up and turn back around when you hear someone call your name. You look around to see who it could be, and there he is. Jake English, the short wearing hero who saved your ass. You suppress a smile, turning it into your usual coolkid smirk. 

“Yo, sup English? Long time no see,” you say. Wow smooth. 

“Ahah yes. Indeed it has been a while. What brings you out here right now? I didn’t think you as one to actually hang around these parts,” the other replies. 

You decide that you might as well tell the guy the truth, seeing as how he’s here. “I was looking for you, to be totally honest.”

“Me? Why on earth would you be looking for an oddball such as me?”

“Well because…Uh….” Wow Dave. So smooth. You really live up to the name Strider, don’t you?

“Because why?”  
“Well actually I was kinda wondering if maybe you’d like to go out or something at some point?” 

“Really? I’d be delighted to! When shall this event take place?” 

Damn this guy was a nerd. But there was no backing out now. Plus you really fucking wanted this. 

“Is Saturday night okay?” 

“Of course it is. I don’t very much have anything better to do, if you can’t tell. Plus spending the night with a charmer such as yourself would be a dandy way to spend my evening.”

You turned a bit red at the compliment. Goddamn Dave pull yourself together. You’re supposed to be the coolkid Strider, not a fucking blushing bride. You just hoped the shades hid it well enough. You nodded before pulling out a notepad and pen from your back pocket. A Strider is always prepared. You scribbled down your number and handed it to the guy. 

“Here’s my number. Give me a call and we can totally figure shit out.”

“Will do. Would you like to get a cup of coffee now though? I mean I’m not doing anything at the moment and you don’t seem to be either. And I know a wonderful little diner about a block from here.”

“Dude that would be fucking awesome. Take me away, my hero.” 

Jake snickered at your comment, but took your hand. And whoops there you go being a fucking blushing nerd again. Nice. So smooth Strider. Anyways the guy leads you to the diner, holding open the door for you as you step inside. A gentleman and a hero. Goddamn what couldn’t this guy do? 

He follows in after you and you both head to the counter. He sits down and motions for you to sit in the swively chair thing next to him. You do so as the person at the counter walks up. 

“What can I get you two nice fellows?” the woman at the counter says. 

“Two coffees please,” Jake replies. He then turns to you. “Would you like anything else? I’m paying for it.” 

“No thanks, I’m chill,” you reply.

Goddamn this guy. You can’t believe it. This guy saves your life and then buys you coffee. What even is this? Whatever anyways, the lady goes off to get the coffee, and Jake smiles at you. Holy shit it’s hot. Even with those buck teeth he’s still fucking sexy. 

“So what do you do for a living here in L.A.?” he asks politely. 

“DJ-ing mostly. I’ve been trying to make it in the movie biz, but mostly it’s been unsuccessful. What about you?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

“Try me.”

He leans forward some, making sure others can’t hear. “I work for the FBI. But if anyone asks, I work for State Farm.”

“State Farm? Like. Jake from State Farm? Dude that is fucking amazing.”

“Quite.” 

He sits back in his chair, grinning at you. And oh my god hottie alert. Someone call a fucking fire truck to put out this smoking hottie. Goddammit Dave stop thinking these nerdy thoughts. You snap yourself out of your little daydream as the coffee arrives. You both sit in silence for a while, just enjoying the coffee. But it isn’t an awkward silence. More like a comfortable, thoughtful silence.

After the coffees are finished, Jake pays the tab and stands up, holding out his hand. You take it and stand up as well, smirking again. 

“Thanks dude. I mean. For the coffee. And saving my ass. And all that other stuff. And being hot as hell-- I mean what?”

Jake chuckles at that. “Well it is no trouble. And I do agree. I happen to be quite dashing.” He grins, and walks you out. 

“Would you like me to walk you home?” he asks.

“Nah I think I can get there myself. But thanks for the offer. You probably have some State Farmly business to attend to.” You smirk at the other. 

“Indeed. Well I shall call you later. Goodbye for now, Dave.”

“Bye Jake from State Farm.” 

As you walk back home, you can’t help but grin. Goddamn. Jake from State Farm is amazing. You cannot wait for your date now.


	3. Romance at its Finest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah young love. how sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look at that. im actually updating fics. amazing. two stories updated in one night. must be a fuckin record. i dont even know if anyone is still reading this shit but ay what the heck enjoy.

One date turned into two, than three, and soon enough you and the FBI agent, Jake from State Farm, and you, coolest hottest Strider to exist, were going steady. All because he saved your ass from some punks. Funny how shit comes together like that, huh? 

You had finally gotten into the swing of L.A. life, and even managed to hook a few jobs here and there. Sure they were small, but it was a start. Jake still had his own job to deal with, so sadly you didn't see him as often as you would like. 

However, after a few more months of this, you both decided it would be hella neat if Jake moved in with you. Sure he had slums to defend, but he could do that and stay with you. Right? 

Things were going swimmingly, until one day, shit hit the proverbial fan. It seemed being an FBI agent gave a person enemies, and not particularly nice ones either. More like the ones that swoop up that person's boyfriend and fuckin kidnap him for a stupid ass ransom and revenge. They had figured out where the two lived, and one sunny day as Dave was heading off to get some AJ, they decided to snatch the guy up for shits and giggles.

Usually, you, Dave Strider, a skilled swordsman and badass beginning director, would not tolerate this shit. Not one bit. Sadly you hadn't even fuckin been expecting it. They came quickly and knocked you the fuck out before you could even say apple pie. Goddamn how rude. You were so pumped for that juice too. You woke up in some dank ass room, perfect for a whole shitty hostage situation, seeing as you were tied to a chair.

You'd expected this shit in movies. Not real life. You just fuckin wished you had your sword on you, so you could show these guys who's boss. Sadly you didn't, and you were stuck here. Ugh. This was fuckin rediculous. You just sighed, wondering who the fuck your captors were. 

~~~~~~~

Your name is Jake English and your boyfriend of seven months has gone missing. Well diddle my crockett and call me Sam. 

You had arrived at the apartment you both shared after wrapping up another nice case, when you noticed your fuckin dashing young boyfriend was nowhere to be found. In his place, however, was some goshdarned hogswallopped note. A ransom, and a fight? These scaliwaggs sure did demand a lot from you. But it would be worth it. 

Gosh this was the second time the Strider had wound up getting himself into trouble. What was with that? It kept things interesting at least . Although playing knight in shining armor was supposed to be his job, right? But instead apparently Dave continued to win the role of damsel in distress.

Okay. Enough mental banter. Jeeze you watched too many movies. Anyways you strapped on your pistols, as well as a bulletproof vest under your clothes, just in case. Time to go save your damsel. 

You headed to the location, kicking down the door swiftly. "Alright you scaliwags, show your goshdarned faces so I may pleasantly beat them into a pulp." You had your pistols at the ready, prepared as hell to fire when ready.

However what came out of the shadows was a shady figure with a gun to your boyfriend's head. Huh. And....it happened to be your rival in the whole good vs evil business. The large and in charge Miss Crocker herself. No not Jane you nincompoops. Betty Crocker. Batterwitch supreme. You growled. "You let him go this instant, you foul demon!" 

"Well well well. Is that anywave to talk to a lady? Bouy I thought you had more manners." She chuckled. 

Dave, however, didn't seem as scared as you thought he would be though, with a gun to his head and all. And that's when you noticed the glint of the knife in his hand, snagged from her hip while she hadn't been paying attention. It seemed Betty wasn't the only one with a criminal side. You would have to talk to Dave about that later.

"Jake you should probably be nice to Miss Bitchy Bling Bling here. She doesn't really like people talking back. As ya can see from my beautiful shiner I'm most probably definitely sportin. Can't fuckin tell though since she refused to give me a mirror to check. Damn rude is what I say." He rolled his eyes.

"Silence ya lil shit." She wapped him lightly with the gun, before pointing at him again. 

Unfortunately the momentary movement of the gun from his head had allowed him time to make his move, quickly jamming the knife into her leg. Jeeze. He liked swords so much better. But it did cause her to drop her gun in favor of her leg, and allowed you to go over and handcuff her, you still being Jake English. 

Dave gave you a smirk, showing that he wasn't even tied up after all. Probably used the knife to free himself first, the lil shit. "Ah my hero comes to save the day once more. Hell fuckin yes. What would I ever do without you, sir English?" 

"I dunno. You seemed to handle your horses just fine in this situation. I do believe you are stronger than you seem, my fine damsel." You reply with a grin.

"Well damsels ain't all weak and prissy ya know. They can kick ass too. But still. My hero." He fake swoons by you, and you chuckle.

Betty rolls her eyes. "Get a room you two. Or take me to prison. Jeeze I can't stand this mush." 

And so the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpu- wait wrong fandom. Anyways though right. The day is fuckin saved, you and Dave relocate to a safer neighborhood upon your insistence, as well as use cover names occassionally, and you both live happily fuckin ever after. The end.


End file.
